Are you Spoiling your Kids?

                                 “Don’t raise your kids to have more than what you had. Raise them                                to be more than what you were”- Jessica Valentin

This was the FaceBook status by a dear friend that inspired me to write this blog post. I wish more people thought like this.

How many times have you heard a parent say, ” I want my children to have more than what I had growing up.”? I bet more times than you count. This may seem like a loving and innocent comment and sure, what good parent wouldn’t want to give the world to their offspring? But unfortunately there is also a drawback to this. Let me explain. First with this picture.

photo (42)

A spoiled child is never happy

Parents are moved by instinct to love, nurture, and provide for their offspring. Our children are a part of us and naturally we want them to be happy and without a care. The drawback is that in our quest to give them everything you didn’t have as a child, you may very well cross the line into spoiling your child.

Sure, buying your children things they want may seem to fill a hole in your heart but you need to reflect on the fact that you may be sub-consciously interfering with their evolutionary development. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, one of the best and most precious gifts you can give to you child/children is the ability to forge their true independence. By forging their own true independence they gain and become a fuller rounded person when they learn to earn what they covet and become captains of their own happiness.

Allow your children to live life as it was intended. Let them work and earn what they want.

Does your 10 yr old really nned a phone??

Does your 10 yr old really need a phone??

Many parents dote, spoil and live vicariously through their kids because they believe that by doing that, they can heal their own emotional wounds. Emotional wounds perhaps caused from their own childhood or their current lives. Parents I know it may hurt but please get your own issues under control before you take it out on your kids, even if it’s by spoiling them. Your past is your past and if you need professional help or religious help to let go of your past, then do what needs to be done to feel whole again. You will be surprised at how taking care of your own needs and broken heart first will cause you raise well adjusted, kind, grateful, gracious and hardworking individuals.

Children learn to be happy from their parents

Children learn to be happy from their parents.

You can’t turn the hands of time if you have been spoiling your kids BUT you can start TODAY; this very second.

Say no when applicable. You can do it!

Say no when applicable. You can do it!

Let your children know you love them and start teaching them that being a good human being is a prize in itself. Show them that a balance in life will bring them great joy; A joy a million times better than than getting every material possession they might covet.

"I WANT IT NOW"-Veruca Salt

“I WANT IT NOW”-Veruca Salt. The worst of the worst in a spoiled child.

Do you have any tips on raising thoughtful well adjusted children?

Recommended Reading:

Loving without Spoiling : And 100 Other Timeless Tips for Raising Terrific Kids by Samalin, Nancy

Growing Grateful Kids: Teaching Them to Appreciate an Extraordinary God in Ordinary Places (Hearts at Home Books… by Larson, Susie

Spoiling Childhood: How Well-Meaning Parents Are Giving Children Too Much – But Not What They Need[Paperback]

Diane Ehrensaft (Author)

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic [Paperback]

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles: Winning for a Lifetime [Paperback]

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

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About secretlyquiet

Hello there! My name is Annette and I have wanted to start a blog for a couple years now. I waited so long because I always convinced myself that I had nothing worthy to say, or my most used excuse: I'm boring and no one will be interested in me. I have learned that everyone no matter how big or small you think you ideas may be can be helpful to someone else. I love to help others solve problems they may have, even if that means having to disclose my own difficulties in the process. Humans aren't perfect and in fact we're not meant to be. I hope you join me on this journey of growth, acceptance, and change
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